Guys, if you don’t remember, this is your hint. Today is February 14th. Yeah so, you say?
I’ll spell it out. It’s V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E’s Day, fellas. There is still time to get flowers, chocolates, cutesy stuffed animals or romantically mushy cards at the fully inflated prices before day’s end. Even though your significant other might not let on, she will know you almost forgot. Females never forget THIS day, though she might hold on to her gift for you until you produce one for her, to keep from embarrassing you and creating undue drama.
And IF she told you, when the February page flipped up on the calendar, that she didn’t want or expect anything from you, to save your money, that you need a trailer hitch or another gun, a box of ammo or a sixth hunting dog, DON’T BELIEVE HER. It’s a trap she doesn’t even realize she’s setting. She just THINKS she means what she says.
So, get a card, quick. Oh, please do remember to SIGN it, and on this day don’t forget to put the ‘L’ word by your name cause it’s a given you are not gonna write a sentence or two. Remember, YOUR name goes on the inside and HERS goes on the envelope. And no, No, NO! A text message or e-card is NOT okay.
After you hand it to her, and you are seeing the look that means – “Well, at LEAST he got me a card” – you can whip out the surprise ‘just for her’ that you grabbed at the gas station or grocery store as you scrambled after work; you didn’t do the smarter thing – skipping lunch to shop before the selections were picked over.
Depending on your choices and the gap in significance between what she handed you and what you gave her, you gave it your best last – minute shot. Fingers crossed for you that the rest of the day goes well.
Let the good times roll. (Oh, wait! That was YESTERDAY)!
This was originally written for my Close to Home column in the Prospect-News, the local weekly newspaper in Doniphan,Missouri. Mari Gras was the day before Valentine’s Day in 2018.